Discovery by Guy de Maupassant
The steamer was crowded with people and the crossing promised to be good.
I was going from Havre to Trouville.
The ropes were thrown off, the whistle blew for the last time, the whole
boat started to tremble, and the great wheels began to revolve, slowly at
first, and then with ever-increasing rapidity.
We were gliding along the pier, black with people. Those on board were
waving their handkerchiefs, as though they were leaving for America, and
their friends on shore were answering in the same manner.
The big July sun was shining down on the red parasols, the light dresses,
the joyous faces and on the ocean, barely stirred by a ripple. When we
were out of the harbor, the little vessel swung round the big curve and
pointed her nose toward the distant shore which was barely visible
through the early morning mist. On our left was the broad estuary of the
Seine, her muddy water, which never mingles with that of the ocean,
making large yellow streaks clearly outlined against the immense sheet of
the pure green sea.
As soon as I am on a boat I feel the need of walking to and fro, like a
sailor on watch. Why? I do not know. Therefore I began to thread my way
along the deck through the crowd of travellers. Suddenly I heard my name
called. I turned around. I beheld one of my old friends, Henri Sidoine,
whom I had not seen for ten years.
We shook hands and continued our walk together, talking of one thing or
another. Suddenly Sidoine, who had been observing the crowd of
passengers, cried out angrily:
"It's disgusting, the boat is full of English people!"
It was indeed full of them. The men were standing about, looking over the
ocean with an all-important air, as though to say: "We are the English,
the lords of the sea! Here we are!"
The young girls, formless, with shoes which reminded one of the naval
constructions of their fatherland, wrapped in multi-colored shawls, were
smiling vacantly at the magnificent scenery. Their small heads, planted
at the top of their long bodies, wore English hats of the strangest
And the old maids, thinner yet, opening their characteristic jaws to the
wind, seemed to threaten one with their long, yellow teeth. On passing
them, one could notice the smell of rubber and of tooth wash.
Sidoine repeated, with growing anger:
"Disgusting! Can we never stop their coming to France?"
I asked, smiling:
"What have you got against them? As far as I am concerned, they don't
He snapped out:
"Of course they don't worry you! But I married one of them."
I stopped and laughed at him.
"Go ahead and tell me about it. Does she make you very unhappy?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
"No, not exactly."
"Then she—is not true to you?"
"Unfortunately, she is. That would be cause for a divorce, and I could
get rid of her."
"Then I'm afraid I don't understand!"
"You don't understand? I'm not surprised. Well, she simply learned how to
speak French—that's all! Listen.
"I didn't have the least desire of getting married when I went to spend
the summer at Etretat two years ago. There is nothing more dangerous than
watering-places. You have no idea how it suits young girls. Paris is the
place for women and the country for young girls.
"Donkey rides, surf-bathing, breakfast on the grass, all these things are
traps set for the marriageable man. And, really, there is nothing
prettier than a child about eighteen, running through a field or picking
flowers along the road.
"I made the acquaintance of an English family who were stopping at the
same hotel where I was. The father looked like those men you see over
there, and the mother was like all other Englishwomen.
"They had two sons, the kind of boys who play rough games with balls,
bats or rackets from morning till night; then came two daughters, the
elder a dry, shrivelled-up Englishwoman, the younger a dream of beauty, a
heavenly blonde. When those chits make up their minds to be pretty, they
are divine. This one had blue eyes, the kind of blue which seems to
contain all the poetry, all the dreams, all the hopes and happiness of
"What an infinity of dreams is caused by two such eyes! How well they
answer the dim, eternal question of our heart!
"It must not be forgotten either that we Frenchmen adore foreign women.
As soon as we meet a Russian, an Italian, a Swede, a Spaniard, or an
Englishwoman with a pretty face, we immediately fall in love with her. We
enthuse over everything which comes from outside—clothes, hats,
gloves, guns and—women. But what a blunder!
"I believe that that which pleases us in foreign women is their accent.
As soon as a woman speaks our language badly we think she is charming, if
she uses the wrong word she is exquisite and if she jabbers in an
entirely unintelligible jargon, she becomes irresistible.
"My little English girl, Kate, spoke a language to be marvelled at. At
the beginning I could understand nothing, she invented so many new words;
then I fell absolutely in love with this queer, amusing dialect. All
maimed, strange, ridiculous terms became delightful in her mouth. Every
evening, on the terrace of the Casino, we had long conversations which
resembled spoken enigmas.
"I married her! I loved her wildly, as one can only love in a dream. For
true lovers only love a dream which has taken the form of a woman.
"Well, my dear fellow, the most foolish thing I ever did was to give my
wife a French teacher. As long as she slaughtered the dictionary and
tortured the grammar I adored her. Our conversations were simple. They
revealed to me her surprising gracefulness and matchless elegance; they
showed her to me as a wonderful speaking jewel, a living doll made to be
kissed, knowing, after a fashion, how to express what she loved. She
reminded me of the pretty little toys which say 'papa' and 'mamma' when
you pull a string.
"Now she talks—badly—very badly. She makes as many mistakes
as ever—but I can understand her.
"I have opened my doll to look inside—and I have seen. And now I
have to talk to her!
"Ah! you don't know, as I do, the opinions, the ideas, the theories of a
well-educated young English girl, whom I can blame in nothing, and who
repeats to me from morning till night sentences from a French reader
prepared in England for the use of young ladies' schools.
"You have seen those cotillon favors, those pretty gilt papers, which
enclose candies with an abominable taste. I have one of them. I tore it
open. I wished to eat what was inside and it disgusted me so that I feel
nauseated at seeing her compatriots.
"I have married a parrot to whom some old English governess might have
taught French. Do you understand?"
The harbor of Trouville was now showing its wooden piers covered with
"Where is your wife?"
"I took her back to Etretat."
"And you, where are you going?"
"I? Oh, I am going to rest up here at Trouville."
Then, after a pause, he added:
"You have no idea what a fool a woman can be at times!"