Smoothing His Father's Wrinkles
Children are very observing, and they apply their observations in funny
ways sometimes. "A six-year-old genius who lives out West rejoices in
the name of Henry. One day his mother was ironing out some
"Henry stood by and intently watched the facility with which the
wrinkles disappeared upon the advent of the flatiron. From time to time
he glanced uneasily at his somewhat elderly papa, who lay recumbent upon
a sofa, dreaming the happy hours away.
"The youth gazed with sorrow upon the furrows that remorseless time had
ploughed upon the once smooth brow of his father, and then was the
future voter seized with a brilliant idea.
"During a temporary absence of his mother, he seized a flatiron, and
tiptoeing softly to his father's side, began industriously smoothing and
ironing out the wrinkles from that gentleman's forehead. The father
dreamed that he was standing on his head in the centre of Vesuvius
during an eruption. We hope the boy will smooth his father's
care-wrinkles in a less painful and more effectual way when he grows
The meanest paymaster in the universe is Satan. He never yet employed a
hand that he didn't cheat. Young man, engage your service to a better
"Is THAT the second bell?" inquired a gentleman of a colored porter.
"No, sah," answered the porter, "dat am the second ringin' of de fust
bell. We hab but one bell in dis establishment."
"SPEAKING of the different kind of taxes," queried the teacher,
"what-kind is it where Whiskey is taxed?" "I know," said one boy,
holding up his hand. "Well, what is it?" "Sin-tax!" shouted the young