The Owl, A Small
WEN you come to see a owl cloce it has offle big
eyes, and wen you come to feel it with your
fingers, wich it bites, you fine it is mosely fethers,
with only jus meat enuf to hole 'em to gether.
Once they was a man thot he would like a owl for
a pet, so he tole a bird man to send him the bes one
in the shop, but wen it was brot he lookt at it and
squeezed it, and it diddent sute. So the man he rote
to the bird man and said Ile keep the owl you sent,
tho it aint like I wanted, but wen it's wore out you
mus make me a other, with littler eyes, for I spose
these eyes is number twelves, but I want number
sixes, and then if I pay you the same price you can
aford to put in more owl.
Owls have got to have big eyes cos tha has to be
out a good deal at nite a doin bisnis with rats and
mice, wich keeps late ours. They is said to be very
wise, but my sisters young man he says any boddy
coud be wise if they woud set up nites to take notice.
That feller comes to our house jest like he used to,
only more, and wen I ast him wy he come so much
he said he was a man of sience, like me, and was
a studyin arnithogaly, which was birds. I ast him
wot birds he was a studyin, and he said anjils, and
wen he said that my sister she lookt out the winder
and said wot a fine day it had turn out to be. But it
was a rainin cats and dogs wen she said it. I never
see such a goose in my life as that girl, but Uncle
Ned, wich has been in ole parts of the worl, he says
they is jes that way in Pattygong.
In the picture alphabets the O is some times a owl,
and some times it is a ox, but if I made the picters
Ide have it stan for a oggur to bore holes with. I
tole that to ole gaffer Peters once wen he was to our
house lookin at my new book, and he said you is
right, Johnny, and here is this H stan for harp, but
hoo cares for a harp, wy don't they make it stan for a
horgan? He is such a ole fool.