Rochester, Minn.

(With apologies to the Mayos)

By Marie G. Stapp

Mr. Smith had gallstones,

Mr. Jones had gout,

Bad appendices had the Browns

But now they've been cut out.

Rachel had a goitre,

Susan a queer spleen,

A tumor worried Mrs. Wright

Though it could not be seen.

Robert had large tonsils

And Dick had adenoids, too,

Bill Green had never had an ear,

He did when they got through.

Peggy had a leaky heart,

Her father had no hair,

Both heart and head are now fixed up

And what a happy pair!

And I—well I have nothing wrong—

That's why I don't feel right;

I'll pay my bill at this hotel

And go back home to-night.