Love Symptoms, by Washington Irving
Bracebridge
Hall, or The Humorists
I will now begin to sigh, read poets, look pale, go neatly, and be
most apparently in love.
—MARSTON.
I should not be surprised, if we should have another pair of turtles
at the Hall; for Master Simon has informed me, in great confidence,
that he suspects the general of some design upon the susceptible heart
of Lady Lillycraft. I have, indeed, noticed a growing attention and
courtesy in the veteran towards her ladyship; he softens very much
in her company, sits by her at table, and entertains her with long
stories about Seringapatam, and pleasant anecdotes of the Mulligatawney
club. I have even seen him present her with a full-blown rose from the
hot-house, in a style of the most captivating gallantry, and it was
accepted with great suavity and graciousness; for her ladyship
delights in receiving the homage and attention of the sex.
Indeed, the general was one of the earliest admirers that dangled in
her train, during her short reign of beauty; and they flirted together
for half a season in London, some thirty or forty years since. She
reminded him lately, in the course of a conversation about former
days, of the time when he used to ride a white horse, and to canter so
gallantly by the side of her carriage in Hyde Park; whereupon I have
remarked that the veteran has regularly escorted her since, when she
rides out on horseback; and, I suspect, he almost persuades himself
that he makes as captivating an appearance as in his youthful days.
It would be an interesting and memorable circumstance in the
chronicles of Cupid, if this spark of the tender passion, after lying
dormant for such a length of time, should again be fanned into a
flame, from amidst the ashes of two burnt-out hearts. It would be an
instance of perdurable fidelity, worthy of being placed beside those
recorded in one of the Squire's favourite tomes, commemorating the
constancy of the olden times; in which times, we are told, "Men and
wymmen coulde love togyders seven yeres, and no licours lustes were
betwene them, and thenne was love, trouthe, and feythfulnes; and lo in
lyke wyse was used love in King Arthur's dayes."[4]
[Footnote 4: Morte d' Arthur.]
Still, however, this may be nothing but a little venerable flirtation,
the general being a veteran dangler, and the good lady habituated to
these kind of attentions. Master Simon, on the other hand, thinks the
general is looking about him with the wary eye of an old campaigner;
and, now that he is on the wane, is desirous of getting into warm
winter-quarters. Much allowance, however, must be made for Master
Simon's uneasiness on the subject, for he looks on Lady Lillycraft's
house as one of his strongholds, where he is lord of the ascendant;
and, with all his admiration of the general, I much doubt whether he
would like to see him lord of the lady and the establishment.
There are certain other symptoms, notwithstanding, that give an air of
probability to Master Simon's intimations. Thus, for instance, I have
observed that the general has been very assiduous in his attentions to
her ladyship's dogs, and has several times exposed his fingers to
imminent jeopardy, in attemptingto pat Beauty on the head. It is to be
hoped his advances to the mistress will be more favourably received,
as all his overtures towards a caress are greeted by the pestilent
little cur with a wary kindling of the eye, and a most venomous growl.
He has, moreover, been very complaisant towards my lady's gentlewoman,
the immaculate Mrs. Hannah, whom he used to speak of in a way that I
do not choose to mention. Whether she has the same suspicions with
Master Simon or not, I cannot say; but she receives his civilities
with no better grace than the implacable Beauty; unscrewing her mouth
into a most acid smile, and looking as though she could bite a piece
out of him. In short, the poor general seems to have as formidable
foes to contend with, as a hero of ancient fairy tale; who had to
fight his way to his enchanted princess through ferocious monsters of
every kind, and to encounter the brimstone terrors of some fiery
dragon.
There is still another circumstance, which inclines me to give very
considerable credit to Master Simon's suspicions. Lady Lillycraft is
very fond of quoting poetry, and the conversation often turns upon it,
on which occasions the general is thrown completely out. It happened
the other day that Spenser's Fairy Queen was the theme for the greater
part of the morning, and the poor general sat perfectly silent. I
found him not long after in the library, with spectacles on nose, a
book in his hand, and fast asleep. On my approach, he awoke, slipt the
spectacles into his pocket, and began to read very attentively. After
a little while he put a paper in the place, and laid the volume aside,
which I perceived was the Fairy Queen. I have had the curiosity to
watch how he got on in his poetical studies; but though I have
repeatedly seen him with the book in his hand, yet I find the paper
has not advanced above three or four pages; the general being
extremely apt to fall asleep when he reads. |